


in my blood

by humanbehavior



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love, hanahaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 15:24:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14876324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanbehavior/pseuds/humanbehavior
Summary: death doesn't seem so bad if he goes out like this , zhengting thinks.





	in my blood

**Author's Note:**

> the summary is shit but thx for clicking on this fic! enjoy pls! i finally finished one of my twenty wips
> 
> twt: xukunculture

when minghao awoke at the ripe hour of 3am , the one noise he did not expect to hear zhengting vomiting and sobbing. upon entering the bathroom , everything looked the same , every item was still were it was , except for the fact that zhengting was vomiting from what minghao could see , blood and _flowers_. 

with tears in his eyes , minghao ran out of the bathroom , going to chengcheng's bed and shaking the other awake. when the other had awoken , minghao had given him no time to talk as he immediately let his tears spill as he told the other ," zh-zhengting , he-he's vomiting"   
chengcheng rubbed his eyes , asking ,"yeah and what's wrong with that? he probably ate something bad."  
sobbing , minghao replied ,"n-no he's.. he's vomiting bl-blood and.. flowers"   
when the words had left minghao's mouth , as fast as chengcheng could , he threw off his covers , running to the bathroom to see that , zhengting in fact , was vomiting blood and flowers. without even sparing a glance at minghao , chengcheng ordered him ,"go get zeren." 

minghao nodded , running to zeren's room , shaking the other awake , to which zeren tiredly squinted at minghao and what he was doing.   
"zeren , zhengting's vomiting blood and flowers and i don't know what to do-" was all minghao had to say to get zeren out of bed. when zeren entered the bathroom , the first thing he had done was kneel by zhengting , pushing back the others hair. "hey , it's okay , zhengting. they'll understand, they won't be freaked out." zeren assured him , soothingly rubbing his back , which only caused zhengting to sob even harder causing his shoulders to shake. "i can tell them if you want. do you want me to?" zeren offered the elder , to which zhengting nodded to. zeren patted the elders head , getting up and telling minghao and chengcheng ,"alright. give zhengting some time and space. come with me to my room , though." both boys nodded following zeren into his room. 

when zeren had shut the door to his room , the questions began flowing from the two boys.  
"what's happening?" "why is he vomiting blood and not to mention the flowers?" "is zhengting going to be alright?"   
zeren sighed ,"uh to explain what's going on with zhengting. zhengting has something called the hanahaki disease. it's an illness born from unrequited love. it causes flowers to form in the lungs. zhengting is going to keep on coughing up flower petals until he either suffocates to death by the flower fillings in his chest-"   
"what? so you mean he's just going to die , like that? we can't do anything? we just have to watch him literally die slowly? that's it?" minghao sobbed.   
"no , there's two other options , but sometimes one is unlikely and the other is just _painful_." the two boys looked at zeren , eagerly , wanting to know the other two options. "the first one , of course , is the love being reciprocated. the second way is to remove the flowers surgically. the downside , is that it'll remove all the memories and feelings. the worst part about the surgery is it's permanent. zhengting will never be able to fall in love with that person again." the silence after he told the younger boys the two options felt like literal _hell_ to say the least.  
so when there was a knock at zeren's door , it felt so good to be saved. "come in." zeren answered. the door creaked as it open , only to be zhengting behind the door. zeren observed how tired zhengting looked. he had dark eyebags that looks like he hasn't slept in a whole century and his lips had dry blood remaining on his bottom lip. "uh , i cleaned the part of the bathroom i , you know , messed up." he hoarsely told zeren . zeren smiled at him ,"thank you. go back to sleep , zhengting. i know you need it right now." zhengting nodded , leaving the room. zeren turned to the two boys ,"you too. go to sleep , we'll talk about this more in the morning." they both nodded , heading to their shared room.  
"i hope he's okay." minghao thought aloud , to which chengcheng replied ,"i'm sure he will be. zhengting won't easily die this way. you and i both know so." 

— 

when both boys awoke the same morning , the only things they had on their minds was _zhengting_. so when they saw zhengting , eating breakfast , and look as healthy as he could be in that current situation , they were relieved. "good morning." zhengting groggily greeted ,"there's breakfast on the counter , so help yourselves." the two younger boys nodded , getting their portion of breakfast and sitting across from zhengting. zeren came along and sat down next to zhengting. zhengting looked at zeren , asking him ,"did…did you tell them?" zeren simply nodded for his own response. looking in between the both of them , chengcheng coughed , interrupting the two ,"um , i want the _real_ tea here," zhengting looked at the younger , in confusion ,"it's not even real tea , it's like iced tea at the most." chengcheng glared at the elder, playfully ,"anyway , as i was saying , when did this all start? like the vomiting blood and flowers , ya know?" 

chengcheng could visibly feel the air getting thicker with sadness and it made him feel _sick_.   
swallowing the lump in his throat , he replied , shakily ,"uh , it.. it started almost two years ago. it could be longer , but i'm not too sure."   
minghao asked the other ,"so you mean , you've had this for two , maybe even three years , yet you didn't even bother to tell us?"   
zhengting couldn't tell if there was any tone of anger in the youngest voice , but he _knew_. he knew that he would be angry , no matter what because he had hidden something so big that could affect zhengting in so many ways.   
"i'm sorry." zhengting whispered , apologizing. minghao glanced at the other , then settling his eyes to his own hands , replying, "it's okay. all i want to know is who?" furrowing his eyebrows in confusion , zhengting questioned ,"who?"   
minghao sighed , combing his fingers in his hair ," yes , who? like who caused this to happen?"   
zeren interrupted the two , with a frantic answer of ,"that's not important." raising his left eyebrow , minghao questioned the older ,"if it's not important , then you shouldn't have a problem telling me who."   
settling his hands on the table , zhengting told them ," stop arguing. i'll tell him , zeren." zeren couldn't even argue with zhengting as it was his decision to tell the youngest two boys.   
"it's xukun. cai xukun." zhengting admitted. as soon as the name left zhengtings mouth , minghao immediately ran to his room , as soon as the door to the youngest room slammed shut , zeren let out a exasperated sigh.  
"do you…. think he'll do you anything.. to xukun?" zhengting thought aloud , to which , chengcheng only shook his head and zeren replied ,"probably not. if he does , xukun won't fight a sixteen year old. minghao will probably just cry to him or something , you know how overwhelmed he gets." zhengting nodded , looking back at minghaos room ,"i hope so." 

 

ㅡ  
it wasn't until two hours later and a lot of bribing to chengcheng , that minghao was finally at xukun's apartment. now , you see , minghao knew if he _was_ going to fight xukun , his only plan was to bust his knee caps , but nevertheless , he planned to talk it out like any normal person would. once minghao had knocked harshly on xukuns door , only then did the realization that he didn't know what to say to xukun hit him. when minghao realized that his whole idea of fighting xukun about something he had literally no knowledge of was ignorant , xukun had opened the creaky apartment door , greeting the other with a ,"oh , hi justin." minghao glared at the other ,"don't call me that." xukun furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. usually the younger wouldn't mind him calling the nickname he had received over the years , so why would would he now?   
xukun cocked his head to the side , asking ,"what did i do?" instead of answering , all minghao could do was sob at the thought of xukun not knowing he was killing someone by not doing something as simple as loving them back.   
xukun softly gasped at the younger , taking him inside his own apartment. once both were sat on the couch and minghao had tissues with him , xukun asked ,"okay , what's wrong? why did you just start sobbing?" dabbing the tissue on the outer corners of his eyes , minghao replied ,"zheng-zhengtings dy-dying" as soon as those two words left minghao's mouth , minghao swears xukuns eyes could've popped out of his skull at that very moment.   
"what do you mean?" xukun asked , concerned. minghao fumbled with his fingers for a moment of silence ,"uh , you see , he's dying because of _you_." standing up , xukun asked ,"but how? i literally haven't done anything to him , so i don't understand why-" cutting off the other , minghao replied ,"uh , you see , that's the point. he's dying because you don't love him back."   
"oh." xukun realized ," _oh._ he has hanahaki , right?"   
minghao shook his head , nodding. "ah." holding both of minghaos hands , he told the other ,"tell zhengting to get the surgery. i don't care if he doesn't want to , he has to. he can't die because of how stupid i am. got it?" minghao nodded , "okay! i'll.. i'll tell him!" walking out of the apartment , into the car that chengcheng had been waiting in.   
"so, what did he say?" chengcheng asked , as he began to leave the apartment complex. "uh , nothing much." 

ㅡ  
once minghao and chengcheng returned back to the apartment that chengcheng , zeren , and zhengting shared , least to say , minghao knew he was going to die. when minghao even stepped foot into the door , zhengting stared at him from the couch ,"where have you been? do you know how worried i've been?" without even hesitating , minghao replied ," xukun said to get the surgery." zhengting looked at the other with disbelief in his eyes ," he…i'm sorry , what?" justin shakily exhaled ," he told me to tell you he wants you to get the surgery." instead of responding , zhengting fetched out his phone from his back pocket , calling someone who he hadn't called in months, _cai xukun_. "hello?" , greeted the soft voiced man. "xukun , is it true? do you.. do you really want me to get the surgery?" zhengting asked. zhengting could hear xukun audibly sigh ," yes. oh my god , yes. i don't want you to die over the fact that i could reciprocate feelings for you and i'd feel like a fucking monster for killing someone in that way. please , get the surgery. it would be so unpleasant to lose someone like you , you're an angel , really. get the surgery please." zhengting coughed , a small petal coming out ,"okay. i'll visit the doctor today and i'll see if i can get it soon." xukun told the other ,"good. take care of yourself." 

as zhengting had said , he went to visit his doctor , yanchen. "so , you want the surgery?", he asked. zhengting replied , with tears in his eyes ,"yes. i really do. i don't want to die. i know how bad it's gotten. i've taken the pills and they've done nothing." yanchen looked at the other with sympathy, "okay , you do know the consequences , right?" zhengting nodded , reciting the words as it was engraved in his memory ," i won't be able to fall in love with him again." yanchen nodded ,"okay , as far as i see , you're healthy enough to go through with this surgery so we can do it in about a week. does august the second work?" zhengting nodded , knowing the fact that the date was xukuns' birthday. "okay come back on the second and you'll be getting the surgery. feel free to bring family , if you want." yanchen replied. zhengting then left the doctors office , knowing that soon his pain and suffering would be over , finally. 

ㅡ   
on the day of the surgery , it was nerve-racking to say the least. zeren , chengcheng , minghao , and even xukun had wanted to come for it. even though , zhengting assured him , he didn't need to , but xukun had told the other off by saying that this could be been the best birthday for him yet. as soon as they gave the anaesthesia to zhengting , he was out. after the surgery , it felt _weird_ to zhengting. to finally feel the surge of stress off of his shoulders , finally after nearly three years. the only downsides to the surgery , in zhengtings opinion was the ugly scar on his chest that would now be there forever. "it's cute , kind of?" minghao had commented on the scar. "minghao , it's a scar , not a cat." zhengting told the other. 

zhengting didn't feel a significant difference after the surgery , except for the fact that zhengting felt somewhat _normal_ for once.   
that is , until xukun had introduced him to ziyi. xukun brought along ziyi on the day of zhengtings surgery as he didn't want it to be awkward. zhengting realized he _loved_ the other. he loved his laugh , how much he cared , fuck , even how he said "bro". it was stupid for zhengting to fall in love so easily , even after the events that had happened beforehand. he thought it was fine , _its just a small crush_ , he assured himself. he thought he was fine until one day , he looked down at the bathroom floor to reveal the yellow petals of the daffodils growing in his lungs once again. 

_oh no. no, no , no , no._

**Author's Note:**

> >:) 
> 
> twt: xukunculture


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